I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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