Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you win again, gameday.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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