Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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