I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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