yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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