Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize