4 words: hood of his car
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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