I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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