you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize