he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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