shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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