Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize