stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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