We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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