i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize