So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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