Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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