I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
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there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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