it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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