It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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