If that was your dad, he is hot
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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