Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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