sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize