I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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