it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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