If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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