You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize