When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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