Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize