its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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