at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize