Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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