What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
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I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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