i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize