I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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