i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i think im in europe. pls send help
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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