My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize