my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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