nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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