I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize