just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
3 2 1 whiskey
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize