hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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