Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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