it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize