I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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