Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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