she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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