you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize