Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize