glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize